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| im going into the 3rd week of working out. and for some weird reason i gained weight? no, actually, there isn't a weird reason, i knew what i was putting in my mouth and staying in bed for 2 days straight. but it's time to get back on it. my fingers are so cold, it's hard to bend them to type. ouchies. so after my first week of eating healthy and working out, i lost 2 lbs, yay :D then after my 2nd week, i gained 4 lbs. fuck. starting all over again. i hate my weight. i wish it would go away, i wish i didnt have this genetic makeup. my mom is thin, dammit, all the kids got my dad's chunky genes. but im gonna get fit, it's going to take a while. ughhhhhhh i hate starting over. it's super cold, and the room's a tiny bit messy, so i'm going to warm up by cleaning. ciao. | | |
| so working out feels awesome. i feel better, healthier. i just wish i was thinner already! in time, it'll happen. i just gotta keep it up. i want to get new things, like undies, clothes, polish, makeup. i love new things. i may have a shopping addiction. just a little one....or a big one. i work later on today, i close tonight. matthew is working 7am to 4pm today, and i'm going to try and keep busy today. it makes the time go by faster :D so im going to work out in a little bit, then im going to take a shower, get gas, probly window shop. or watch some netflix. we'll see. i can't wait to get back into running again. i miss it. i tried running yesterday, to see where i've gone and how out of shape i am. running for a minute tires me out. fackkkkk. but im gonna get better. im so determined. still 173.4, but it's ok, i was 176 when i started on tuesday. isn't that crazy? 2.6 lbs in 2 days. its probably just water weight. oh wells it makes me feel good :) my abs are sore, i love it. my legs are sore too, i love it! ahhhhhhh i missed working out. i want to run a 10k or something this year. that's my goal, run in the wharf to wharf this summer, and maybe the salinas valley half marathon. im going to train really hard, i need to lose at least 30 lbs by then, running while you're lighter is easier. running was hard yesterday because i got so heavy. it felt like i was running with a weight jacket on...around my waist. ughhh my ass is so huge. but it'll get better. im excited for this journey :) im going to change into my workout clothes and ill talk to you guys later. have a good day! <3 | | |
| well hello xanga. i know, i've been a bad member, neglecting you for over half a year. shame on me. ill update you guys on some new events that occured in my life, if you want to hear about it. im sure no one cares but typing everything out is therapeutic. 1st-i met the man of my dreams and my future husband. im so excited to spend the rest of my life with him, i can barely contain myslef sometimes. i look at him and i just feel warmth, excitement, i feel loved. and wanted. it's amazing how i found someone who loves me as much as i love him. turns out he wasn't that far from me at all, he works at a grocery store close by where i used to live. i moved in with him about 4 months ago, and i love it. i love being with him all the time, i love seeing his face first thing in the morning. he's everything :) 2nd- im still at kohl's...its ok. im getting a little tired of it honestly, i feel like im not using all my skills and they are just going to waste. im looking for another job though, preferably full time. since im not going to school at the moment (i think ill go to school later, ill probably do the medical assisting program and then become a phlebotomist. i like needles.) 3rd-i cut my hair. its short. and i miss my long hair. damn it. 4th-i gained a buttload of weight, it's what happens when you become so lost in love. we used to go out and eat at restaurants a lot and i wouldn't care what i got. i'd eat whatever. everything, more like it. and then i started to notice i was gaining weight and i got a little depressed about it and i started eating more. that wasn't very smart. so now i weigh 173.4 lbs. disgusting, i know. but yesterday i started working out, and i have made a resolution to become healthy. i havent worked out in so long, and yesterday brought back good memories, the feeling of pushing yourself and the tingling sensation running through my extremities after a hard workout. i missed it. so im going back. i was smoking a lot too, i'd go through a pack in 3 days..terrible. so yes, my goal is to lose 40 lbs by summer. it's a big goal but i can do it. summer is six months away, and that's like losing 8 lbs a month, which is reachable. im excited about this. i want to fit in my clothes again, and i want to regain some confidence i had lost. i also started taking my makeup off at night. i'd go to sleep with it on, and i read that it's bad for you. i mean, i've always known it was, but i didn't know that makeup could trap free radicals and bus exhaust in your face. i don't want that shit in my pores. so here's to a new year, taking better care of myself and becoming a fit and toned, sexy lady for my matthew :) | | |
| im back. sorry, i had some things happen. so lets just start with i stopped working out for a longggg time. im still working at kohl's, and im doing good, im getting the company a lot of credits and what not. um, me and robert broke up. no big surprise. im just done. seriously. i dont deserve all this heartbreak and his indecisiveness is exhausting. im done. i started reading a lot more, i finished the girl with the dragon tattoo series, and water for elephants..and now im reading a book called life from scratch about a woman who got recently divorced and is finding herself thru teaching herself how to cook.and yeah. i started working out again, at the beginning of this week. i bought some new shoes (as a present for myself for dealing with the break up...and i bought a lot of other things too..my savings account is really upset at me :p) and they are soo comfy. another thing happened too, some magic, but im going to keep that to myself. i wanna treasure it. so yes. weight loss. im more focused on toning my body.i have the shape already, i just need to work on not being so flabby, and i want to run on a regular basis. for some reason, working 25 hrs a week and going to school full time made me soooo tired. but now that the semester is over and i have more free time in the morning im going to run more often. i dont have time to train for wharf to wharf this summer, so im selling my ticket to gabe's friend. and im just going to train myself for another run, maybe the big sur half marathon? ive always wanted to do the marathon but 26.2 miles is a long way. lol ill stick with 13.1 and see how that goes. but i need to train like crazy. and food wise, ive been doing ok. i think. i stopped drinking coffee, my teeth were getting kinda brown. ive been eating oatmeal for breakfast. i wish there were more fruits in the house, my dad likes to buy frozen food. i dont really like it that much. except for the edamame. that i will eat. but yeah. i have no idea how much i weigh. im going to weigh myself tomorrow morning, see where im at. and then that's it. but a good thing i noticed is that i went to buy some new jeans because i dont have any without holesin them, and i bought a size 13..they are wayy too big for me. so i need an 11 or possibly a 9. that made me feel happy :) so yeah. its so hard to type without a smile on my face. its just the most amazing thing happened (the magic) and i want to write all my heart out into this blog...but i can't. and i wont. its just to precious. :) have a good day everyone. | | |
| im not worrying about it, it may be because my period is coming soon, because im slightly constipated from all the junk ive been eating. ill get back on track. im going to work out after work today, because i couldnt bring myself to wake up early enough to go to a turbo class this morning. im going to try really hard to do yoga tomorrow though.....or maybe ill just run. yeah, i think ill do that. oatmeal-130
boiled egg-70
coffee-30 tsf-230/1200 im allowing myself 1200 cals/day. it seems reasonable and healthy. | | |
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